Focus On The Plan To Get Your Ex Back
Silly Mistakes Derailing Your Efforts to Get Your Ex Back How long have you been working to get your ex back without seeing any real results? Many people in your shoes are surprised to learn that it isn’t what you aren’t doing that’s holding you back. It’s the things you are doing, that are working
Silly Mistakes Derailing Your Efforts to Get Your Ex Back
How long have you been working to get your ex back without seeing any real
results? Many people in your shoes are surprised to learn that it isn’t
what you aren’t doing that’s holding you back. It’s the things you are
doing, that are working against you. Here are a few common roadblocks that
could be derailing your trip back to relationship bliss.
You are Proud to be there for Your Ex
It’s a noble idea. Really it is. However, if you’re there for a friendly
ear, a comforting shoulder, or a fast perk-me-up whenever your ex needs it
from you, your ex isn’t really missing out on the benefits of being in a
relationship with you. It’s getting all the fringe benefits of a loving
relationship without putting in the work to keep things going. Instead,
you’re going to have to let your ex deal with the stings life delivers
sometimes without the solace of your comforting presence.
You Keep Trying
I know this one goes against everything your heart (and to some degree
your head) is screaming at your right now. However, in times of crisis,
reason isn’t even in charge of your head either. Reason rarely rules the
heart. Why should a time of emotional distress be any different? One
person can’t do it all in the relationship.
Pat Benatar had it right when she sang, “Love is a Battlefield.” Love is
war and the winners, in love, have a plan. The tactical advantage goes to
the one who retreats, assesses the situation impartially, and plans a
strategic assault with victory in mind. You had better believe love is
war. And you need to take a little time to assess your current position,
the hostility of the terrain, and the best path to victory before you go
in with guns (or in this case Cupid’s arrows) blazing.
You Attack from a Position of Weakness
Fans of NCIS know that team leader Gibbs is always telling his team not to
apologize. According to Gibbs, apologizing is a sign of weakness. While
that’s a philosophical debate for the most part, when you’re trying to
save your relationship or get your ex back, it is often viewed, the
leaving party, as a sign of weakness. You don’t want to make your move
from an inferior position. Instead, lead with your strengths.
Show your power. Establish your dominance. Come in swinging from a
position of strength and don’t ever let your ex see you sweat. There’s
nothing sexier, to members of the opposite sex, than confidence. Be
confident in yourself, your contribution to the relationship, and the fact
that it’s just not time for this relationship to end.
Above all else, don’t make a move until you know what you’re going to do
next. Have a contingency plan in place for a favorable outcome as well as
a less-than-favorable outcome so that you don’t come across as desperate
if you don’t win this round. Your mind needs to remain focused on the
long-term prize of getting your ex back and every plan needs to ultimately
lead you down that happy road.